Sometime I wish I lived my dreams. The little fantasy world in my mind where everything goes well and other people are always happy. I wish I could please everyone but I can’t
I am figuring out new things about myself all the time – I am really enjoying living alone. I have had so much more time for myself but also I have had so much more time to make friends with people I never would have back home. Sometimes I reflect on last year and think maybe i was just living in a little bubble – one where I was only friends with people who were similar to me and had similar hobbies/interests (vegan or climbers pretty much). I am realising that if you put a label on yourself and only associate with people also of the same label all you talk and think about are the same boring things all the time. There is so much more to life than just doing the same thing all the time. The friends I have made here all have very unique and very different perspectives of the world to my own. I love the family vibes that are beginning to occur within the group – people look out for one another and so far no one has hooked up with anyone else from our course (except Richard and Max ofcourse!). I feel like I don’t miss Adelaide, my friends or Jasper as much as I did in the first couple of weeks. I almost feel guilty for not missing them… but then I talk to them and I honestly feel like the conversations are slow. I wish I could have a bit of a deep conversation with them but all they want to talk about is themselves.
On another note, I’ve been contemplating Maslows heirachy of needs lately and thinking about what I really want and need. Over the past month I have experienced thought patterns from all the levels of the pyramid.
I’m realising that often my surroundings are a reflection of what is going on in my mind. For example – if my room is messy so is my headspace, if the kitchen is messy I’m letting out frustration or distracting myself and if I look like a mess its because I’m trying (and usually succeeding) to care less about the world. I sometimes feel like trying to care about too much just leads to stressing and worrying. I’m currently just chilling and not taking life too seriously and its a lot of fun