This was my first time on ski’s! I enjoyed it a lot, but it also came with a lot of obstacles that I had to face that week. I wanted this week to learn how to ski and focus on my own techniques. As always with new experiences, I began without ideas how it would be and with full enthusiasm.
Before we went on the ski trip, I prepared very well. I needed some extra food and equipment, so I went to the Sørlandssenteret and made sure I had it before we headed to Evje. This is a good improvement, because in the past I didn’t always manage to do this. I think that it also has to do with the way I am feeling about a week. When I haven’t done it before, then I am nervier and make sure I think about most things. This makes that I prepare properly and don’t forget things.
Day 1
The first day was relaxed, I was good in time on the bus station with a thermos of coffee! On the location we could make place in the little cabins of Trollactive. I was impressed by the location of the company, because I got some experience with outdoor companies and in my opinion was this location one that was very structured, detailed and professional. In my mind I started to imagine how it should be to work there. Not thinking of planning or availability, my mind took me on an adventure. This happens more often, but I let It be in my brain first, and maybe after a while, when I thought about it, listen to the ideas. So, for that moment I let the ideas for what is are and went inside for the first briefing.
Typical for my school attitude, I didn’t have a pen and paper. This is something I also want to grow in, because I can’t remember all the things I learn. I have got a little book where I write things in, what I think is important, but I don’t use it enough in my opinion. The info for the first day clear and I noticed that I didn’t talked that much. Normally I am talkative and react on the most questions the teacher askes, but this time I was quieter and more listened. I liked the fact that I could be that way, because I would like to be more controlled that always being in the middle of the attention. As I wrote before in my blogs, is this something I would like to control and to give the energy more to myself, instead to others or for being seen by others.
While we practiced the first days, I was very excited. I just tried to understand and do the technique as Sindre told us. I fell a lot of times, that was pretty hard for me. How hard I tried to do it as told, it didn’t work for me. As always, I am very extrovert in the things I feel and in that moment was a lot of frustration. I learned about myself how I can affect the group, without wanting to, so I tried very hard to not let my frustration be that much on infect on the group. Instead of that, I started to make fun of me falling. That also infected the group, but this time in a positive way. We had a good day and I really liked the first experience on skies!
Day 2
This day was more intense than the first day so it costed me more energy to focus on myself. While we had the longer trip, I was at the end of the group most of the time. I got again the frustration of ‘wanting to be the best’, what I had to let go. It was weird to experience myself as the worst sportier of the group. I can see that I am competitive in all the sports I do, because it gives me a feeling of appreciation. The focus of the day was for me to accept that I get the appreciation from myself, because I did it for the first time.
At the break I felt very good! The first tour went very well, and I got a lot of fun in trying skiing. Also, when we went a few times off-track, I did a good job. Trying and falling made me accept and appreciate the process of learning something, instead of being angry about it. A few times, people came to ask me how I did or how I experienced it. This felt very good, because I got the feeling that people cared about me. It was a good thing to feel and experience, because normally I am the person that cares about others or ask them if I can help.
Day 3
The third day the snow was not that good, because it didn’t snow for two days and it had been above 0 °C. This made the same route as the second day pretty hard. This day I felt it more in my legs and it was mental harder because we had less grip. I got the feeling that I didn’t learned anything and that I got only worst at skiing instead of being better. When I had a little chat with Malte about that about that feeling and he told me that I didn’t had to worry so much and that he also thought that it was hard, because of the snow. That made me (again) realise the fact that I don’t had so much experience with skiing and that it was harder because of the snow.
After the break we made a little shelter, where I didn’t really want to make the snowballs. Because I had only one pair of (not rainproof) gloves, I was worried to get wet and cold hands. I didn’t tell the rest of the group that in the first place and started digging. After a time, the rest switched but I didn’t. When we continued, Manuel was a bit irritated by my input (I said we needed more snowballs) and reacted that I should make a snowball. At that moment I realised that I had to tell them about the gloves, to avoid that kind of irritations. When I told them, they understood why I only used the shovel and did the skis. I can use this feedback, for a next time, just to be clear and divide roles before starting.
When our group started to vote what to do, going back or going to the top or going back to the bus, I started to worry about my knees. I made the choice to stay with the other group, who were going to make a fire and headed back to the bus. Normally I would say yes and go full power the whole week, but I thought about the rest of the week and made the decision. This is a good progression for me, what I would like to use the rest of the semester.
Day 4
At the fourth day we went to another ski area, so it was my first experience with ski- slope. When we walked up, we had the skins under our feet, because the snow wasn’t that good. At the beginning I found it nice to use, but after a while I slip as many times as the day before. That irritated me a lot and I stared to say ‘godverdomme’ again. This was for the group a funny word, because I always said that when I fell down and that was a lot of times. This time they saw that I was irritated and let me be for a while. Also, when Luca wanted to help me, I reacted a bit frustrated on her. At the break I sat down and looked at the few. This was a moment for me to reflect on my actions and felt proud about that I made it so far. I didn’t feel proud about my habits in the group and decided to do it different the second part. This was clear for the group as well and Melanie reacted with ‘are you feeling better again Haron?’, with a wink. I also said to Luca that I didn’t meant it the way I did to her and she reacted positive and that I didn’t had to worry about it.
The way back was hard and wet. I fell down more times than the whole week until that moment together! I laughed a lot, because everyone felt a lot of times and it was kina part of the route. It was a long trip down, so at one point I got tired of falling. I fell every time I had to make a turn. This was so exhausting at one point, that I unclip my skis and walked down. At that point I got al little frustrated by it, but I prevented myself from being angry
Day 5
At the last day, we had the worst weather of the whole week. Because the snow was melted and frozen again, it was very hard to walk up with ‘fish legs’. This also was for my knees the hardest part of cross-country skiing. We also had another instructor that went with us, because Sindre his son was sick. We did this day some extra navigation exercises with a map and compass, where some experience in got. We also went exact the same route as we did the second and third day. All these things I just described made the day very hard. My motivation was gone and wanted to finish the day. I understood the switch of instructors, but maybe I would have done a different route then the one we already did. I like to get new input or new situations to react on, so that I stay motivated. This was an example that I wasn’t because of the circumstances.
At the break I took the time for myself and didn’t said much. I saw that everyone was quiet and didn’t had much motivation or energy. Because of that, I accepted that it was the last route to the car and we had a great week. The irritation disappeared and made place for fun and joy, because I wanted the week to end with a nice feeling about it and not with irritation.
We headed back to the car and had a very nice last downhill, put our skis in the bus and drove down. I am very positive when I am looking back on the week. I made a lot of physical and mental progression. I learned to be less competitive and focus an being better instead of the best.