My learning outcomes in regards to fishing were limited due to my personal believes on harming animals.
Island survival – Learnt that I can survive without a sleeping bag sleeping outside in 8 degree weather. Personal belief and dislike of the actions of others really can influence the group dynamics. The group did not progress past forming during the first 24 hours. Subgroups formed from previous friendships.
Day too feelings boiled over. It was clear that Kathrin and I were being tiptoed around. I thought I would include a part of my diary entry from this time;
‘Len smiled at Kathrin while she cried and I couldn’t help feeling it was the same smile he had given me while he was arguing with me on the sea kayaking trip about being vegan. I don’t think I am better than anyone else. I am far from perfect and so is Len so I shouldn’t judge him because maybe I missed interpreted something. But in that moment when he smiled at my best friend crying I hated him. I still don’t understand how or why he would find happiness in someone who is so upset.’
In hindsight, I don’t hate Len. I disagree with his believes over a very small topic. But his opinion doesn’t define him nor does it define me. Len is a very good teacher and outdoor education facilitator and a role model to me. The biggest lesson for me though was not skill acquisition or improvement; it was tolerance of others ideas and not being self-righteous. Recognising that there is a problem is the first step to fixing it. Before this trip I had a different perspective and now I feel much less judgemental of other people. Also I believe that hate is a misplaced emotion that often stems from my own misunderstanding of someone else’s feelings or action. I don’t hate anyone or anything. This for me has been my most important lesson so far.
Reflecting on my teaching skills whilst kayaking I think if I practiced more I would feel more confident. I’m very grateful Len gave me the opportunity to practice my teaching skills.
From this experience, I have learnt a lot about how important your image you give off is. Hesitation is a form of weakness – Len doesn’t hesitate and is always sure of himself and his ideas. I hesitate in my knowledge, skill and ideas. The less I hesitate the more confident of myself I feel. When skiing once Len told me to always trust your gut feeling. These words really have stuck with me and I am trying to trust my get feeling more and more. The quicker I make a decision with my gut feeling the less I hesitate.
More specific things I learnt was when creating size dimensions for a kayaking game keep it smaller so it is easier for the person who is it when playing tag. Also when giving feedback to students I needed to give more specific feedback. For the draw stroke, for example, If some one was directing their paddle too far in front of them and not bringing the paddle to the hips I needed to explain that and explain why it isn’t working as they want it to. I found my lack of confidence really influenced my willingness to critique others especially because they were my peers.